What Addiction Means

addiction's affects on a personAddiction, in many ways, can be considered the opposite of marriage. It is not a coincidence that addiction destroys marriages at the same rate as infidelity, dishonesty and abusiveness. Where as marriage calls for all the best, most selfless qualities within a person, addiction is an entirely selfish act, serving no one but the addict. Marriage and addiction cannot survive together within a relationship. Eventually, one or the other will have to give. The best relationship advice for a married couple that is harboring addiction in at least one of the spouses is to receive addiction treatment and counseling immediately before irreparable damage is done to the marriage.

Addiction is obviously entirely self-serving. There is no way to claim otherwise. When a person is aware that they are addicted, yet refuses to do anything about it for the sake of their spouse, they are acting in a way that protects their interests alone. They are not considering how their spouse feels or how they are hurting their marriage. Addiction is a complicated thing to treat and eradicate, but when a married person refuses to even try, they are sending a painfully hopeless message to their spouse.

Addiction in marriage consistently creates an unhealthy and dysfunctional environment. Addicts often mistakenly tell themselves that their addiction only affects them. Nothing could be farther from the truth. A spouse who can count on their partner not to be lost in addiction and be available to them is going to be much happier than a spouse who constantly feels less important than an addiction. Addicts typically neglect their relationships, their responsibilities and the things that used to inspire them, leaving their spouse feeling alone and discarded.

The cruelest part of being married to an addict is feeling like less of a priority than an addiction. Often times, the addiction is to alcohol or drugs. When a spouse sees their marital partner rearrange their lives in order achieve their addiction high, but barely lift a finger to contribute to the marriage, it wears them down over time to the point that they no longer feel anything toward their spouse.

What Marriage Means

definition of marriageThe bond of marriage can mean many things to many different people, but there are certain facets of marriage that are immovable. No matter how you define marriage personally, the devotion that two people owe one another when they take marriage vows always somehow looks the same.
First of all, putting your spouse before everything else is very important to the marriage. Protecting them and caring about how they feel should come first at all times. If something else replaces them in importance, such as a job, an affair, an addiction or any other distraction, the marriage’s health will be in jeopardy.
Another absolute essential to marriage is honesty. A marriage can never survive lies between spouses. Trust can take a lifetime to earn and a moment to break, so transparency and truthfulness should never feel optional in a marriage. Lying to hide infidelity, addiction, financial issues or any other wrong-doing is a crime against marriage.
Giving your spouse faithfulness and loyalty should come without saying, and is an obvious element of being honest with them. One of the most important things a spouse wants from their partner is knowing that they are supported and that their spouse has their back. Feeling alone in a marriage is far lonelier than actually being alone. Being a support system is naturally expected of a spouse.
Married couples look to one another for love and affection. This is usually what leads people to enter into marriage. People have an inherent desire for love, romance, affection and sex, and when they take a marriage partner, they are proclaiming that they have found the person they want to receive those things from for the rest of their life. The affectionate side of marriage is marriage’s greatest reward.
And lastly, marriage comes with an expectation to stick together through hard times. Even when two married people are not seeing eye to eye, they expect one another to work through it and come to a compromise rather than running away.